Change With the Seasons

One of my favorite things in life is the change of the seasons. From January to April, we see dead things come back to life. In June, we see them become more vibrant in color and intensity. In October, the colors start to deepen, insinuating another change is soon to come to pass. A darker one this time. By December, there’s no color at all. Everything seems void of life. Suddenly, things are back to where they started. It’s as if nature is reflecting the course of our own lives. Or maybe it’s the other way around.

We live through times of triumph and victory, only to be shortly followed by times of loss and dejection. Times on the mountaintop, and times in the valley. Times of joy and times of despair.

To everything there is a season, right? Nothing lasts forever (nothing earthly, that is). Yes, those brilliantly vivid colors faded. They faded into nothing. But they’ll come back. They always come back. Things will only stay grim for so long. Soon, the dead will show signs of life again. It’s why they call it the circle of life. It’s a continuous cycle.

Picture the flow of your heartbeat flashing on the screen of an EKG monitor. The lines shoot up and down at variating rates. The amplitude isn’t always the same. The pattern, if there is one at all, is indistinctive.

But those waves, the ones that seem to stretch across the screen in a haphazard fashion, are the very proof that you’re alive. Both the ups and the downs added together. We can’t have one without the other, no matter how much we want to believe otherwise. Life requires balance. There is no life without change, whether it’s wanted or not. Without the waves, there’s nothing left.

A flatline.

Death.

We have to remind ourselves of this in all stages of life, even when things seem to be going our way. We have the tendency to feel over-confident when we succeed. We become prideful and arrogant, congratulating ourselves on a great win. While it’s okay to feel proud of ourselves when we accomplish a goal, we can’t relish in it. We must remember that no victory is made on our own, and God won’t hesitate to humble us.

What goes up must come back down (the laws of gravity apply figuratively too). As humans, we’re erratic. Inconsistent. Our minds change as much as our emotions do. They’re fleeting. And it’s easy for this to happen when we’ve started to stumble. Most of the time, that’s the only way we come back down from a high. We’re so busy congratulating ourselves on the recent win that we forget to keep looking forward. We trip over our own feet, tumbling until we’ve reached the bottom of this valley we should’ve seen coming.

This is when we feel stuck. We feel like giving up. The climb back up looks far more grueling from the bottom. Why keep trying when we always end up back here? Back at the start?

Maybe because this time we’ve learned something. We know not to make a mistake we made last time we fell. We know that at least it’s possible to make it back up, and maybe that’s enough motivation to get us to take that first step, the one that’s always the hardest.

And it will be hard. We’re not going to want to do it. We’re not going to want to fight. We’re not going to believe it’s worth it.

But trust me, it is. Because if we don’t fight, if we don’t persevere, we’re living our lives at a flat-line. Which in fact means we’re not living at all.

Think of the battle as a blank slate, your future as a blank slate. An empty page. A new opportunity for growth. To do better. You’re going to need to remember this feeling when you get back up. When you’ve risen as far as you can, remember what comes next. And be prepared for it this time. Enjoy the good moments, but don’t get too caught up in them.

All of this seems appropriate as 2019 has come to a close.

Not only have we stepped into a new year, but a new decade too. Though I’ve only been around for 21 years, I think many could agree that this decade was centered around change in a way previous ones weren’t. There was new technology created every single day, somehow growing more complex and simple at the same time. There were new laws either being passed or thrown out the window left and right. Trends, fads, and movements were created and squandered in what seemed like minutes. Social media went from something only a few people had to something that took over many of our lives.

Maybe every decade has been like this. Maybe everything has always changed this rapidly. Afterall I’ve only been around for two of them (one of which I only remember half of).

But no matter the consistency (or rather, inconsistency) through the years, one thing remains the same. And that is the tendency for the human race to move. Move backward. Move forward. Change. Progress. Evolve, and evolve again. Bringing things right back around to the waves of life. It’s as if we couldn’t fight them off if we wanted to.

This particular decade brought a lot of waves into my life, some of which acting as a chain reaction to those before it. While I realize I’m still young, I think this has been one of the most vital ten years I’ll ever experience in my life. It’s when I grew from child to teenager, and teenager into young adult. The innocence of being a child faded as I began to see the world through the eyes of someone older. According to society, this was my time to figure out where I fit in this world. Figure out my dreams and hope for a way to make them come true.

But life isn’t a fairy-tale. And life certainly doesn’t always fit into the mold society has constructed.

So, I think the first lesson I learned was to throw out any painting society has tried to portray as a good life, and grasp onto the thoughts of the One who painted the stars in the sky instead. The One who already has my life intricately laid out before Him. Before me.

The seasons seemed to change daily for me over the course of this decade (though living in the mid-west has kept me equipped for fast changes in weather). Just like nature, I cycled through both dark and light times.

I made goals and only met half of them.

I changed my mind and then changed it again.

I lost some battles and I won some battles.

I lost some friends and I made some friends.

I broke in some places and healed in others.

I gave up sometimes, but not for long.

I grew.

And...

I lost my grandma.

That’s something that going to take the rest of my life to recover from. Some battles are on-going.

But heaven gained her precious soul. I think that’s an even trade, no matter how much we miss her.

Through the years, there were times when I thought I’d ruined God’s plan for me simply because I didn’t know what it was. It took time to realize I was giving myself way too much credit in this. I didn’t make a single mistake significant enough to prevail against God’s will. He knows our choices lightyears before we make them. Not only does He work around them, but I think that He may even use them. Mistakes don’t have to stay mistakes forever.

Overall, this decade has been influential. I’ll remember the good and bad times that act as proof that I’ve truly lived. I laughed, I cried, and I laughed until I cried (and almost peed 😊). But most importantly, I learned. And I will continue to do so.

Bring on the next season.

The journey isn’t over yet.